diary of an at-home dad part. 1

So my wife is back to work in a school and once again i find myself among the ranks of an at-home dad two days a week. It's really a blessing, as i spend a couple of months in Tanzania and my travels around the states are picking up. I remember listening to an interview with Ann Graham-Lotts, a daughter of Billy Graham. She was asked what it was like being the daughter of THE Billy Graham, and her reply was quick and honest; "hard, I didn't have a daddy around to often, but we understood that he had work to do." I think about this alot when I get frustrated that I never seem to have enough time to "do" my "work" and then catch myself and remember that my daughter is my real work... and i am amazed at how God is using her to form me more and more into His image. Here's is where the rubber hits the road for me....sacrifice on both end; my family gives me up because the Lord gave Himself up...

Here's how i saw it during yesterday's nap-time (or lack of) My daughter is in a daycare two days a week and they just moved her up into the "toddler one" room. I have no idea where they came up with that idea, i mean she's just too little for that "big kid class" (if I keep telling this to myself, will it become true?) Well, she's at the stage of dropping her morning nap and having just one in the early afternoon. It seems to go well for everyone but me...did i miss a memo on this somewhere? Well as i put her down today, i had to do the "five minutes and go up, and then wait ten..." thing and she held out to 8 minutes and 47 seconds...

She's got a strong will (stupid apples, can't they fall farther from the tree!) and a great set of lungs (argh...ditto) and as her cries reached the ears of her father i found myself thinking "how long"...not because it bothered me (it did, but not in a aggravated way) but because my daughter was crying out becuase she didn't understand what was going on... plain and simple....and my heart broke.

...so i found myself really hurting, and Scripture began to fill my head, words that Jesus spoke like when he was pleading in the Garden about the sacrifice he had to make, and the cries of pain over the wayward people of Jerusalem, and the snort of rage over the death of his friend Lazarus and the pain of his sisters as they mourned. About the hidden things of the Lord...

...and it started to strike me afresh, this deep sense of pain that a father hears when his children cry out, afraid, uncertain, frustrated, mad at him because they didn't get their way. And I know that God doens't rejoice in our suffering...but my daughter gave me real-life testimony

Our father hears our cries in the same way. The gut-wrenching that I felt with because of my daughter is in some way a shadow of the anguish that our Mediator feels for us. When "all of creation groans with eager expectation..." the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are included in that...somehow.

What did that drive me to do? Say thank you Lord, I love you. Please help my daughter. It became very real, and I pray it does for you as well. It's not a sense of the deep theological debate concerning the emotions of God. Nope...a simple truth revealed to a simple man...God really is love

blessings

b